For My First Son

I’ve been transcribing my first journal and decided to share these:

I was a child that believed, the woman I was, loved a young man, because he put a song in my heart. But then he put a tear in my eye when he said, I don’t believe the child is mine.

Because I loved you

A chance to live

I needed to give

You, in a better world

Your growth unfurled


I predicted

You to survive

You need to know

My love for you

Is still alive

And continues to grow

As you do, into a man

Your father will show

You things I never can

If you ever decide

You need to see

Here I’ll be

Always the same name

Something that will

Never change

You need to know

That it was NOT

Because I did not, BUT

Because I DID, love you

I gave you a chance

Instead of the romance

That young people believe

Will carry them through

A chance to succeed

In a family and not

Struggle in poverty

So for you to be happy

It fell to me

You needed

A true family

In that moment,

I had to decide

Which life held

The most benefit

In my distress

My only thought

Your happiness

We contacted Father Clements

From there, son

He found the solution

A family he knew

To raise you

When I gave

You to your father

The tear that was in

My eye


I hold in my heart

I knew I was

Giving you

The very best

I could, all because

I loved you

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8 thoughts on “For My First Son

  1. These are beautiful sweetheart. How heartbreaking a decision to have to make. I admire you for your strength in doing what you felt right for your son, unselfishly.

  2. wow!!!!! wow!!!!! this is so expressive. how enchanted that you're able to share your pain and longing this way. your son knows that you love him. i don't think he knows about the pain you've been in since giving him up though. if he did he would comfort you…and if he hasn't…one day very soon he will. muah!

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